Are all children a blessing or are only children with a disability a blessing?
I am asking this question for myself and on behalf of other parents to children with a disability: Are all children a blessing or are only children with a disability a blessing? Often when people learn that I have a child with a disability they reply with "she must be a blessing". Well, all children are a blessing. And, they contradict the above and confuse me when expecting a baby either by pregnancy or adoption and say: "as long as the baby is healthy and please God has no challenges" ...
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Women’s Month: I was a Teenage Mother to a Child with a Disability – I’m So Over Being Shamed for Both
First published August 2019. Updated August 2022 I was a teenager who had a baby. My life was challenging but it was not over. For anyone who has heard me speak I've stated: "that becoming Savannah's mother at eighteen years old forced me to find my strength to live". I know that this is not true for every teenage mother or for a mother of a child with a disability, but it was true for me. There are women who started their adult lives in the right career, married their ...
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Parenting: Is it unfair to other siblings, when one child has a disability?
This is my first blog post in three months. Time is a monster in my life but today, I had to write this, as short or long as it may turn out to be. In a time when parenting has become a central focus for many families, it is appalling to me that many people hold to a belief that in families where a child has a disability, it will always be unfair to the siblings of that child. Now before I offer some insight into why this blanket opinion ...
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Valentine’s Day was not what we planned:heartbreak
The last few days, our eldest daughter Savannah was excitedly preparing to celebrate Valentine's Day. This happens in two parts: exchanging presents and baking for the actual day, then a Valentine's party with Savannah's squad on the weekend. Talisa and Eli love this celebration because Savannah's energy is directed at making them happy. Yesterday afternoon, we should have been enjoying the fruits of Savannah's labour. Instead Valentine's Day was not what we planned: Heartbreak. As we are still figuring out how best to help our children through this, I am ...
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Should siblings be responsible for each other? And if so, is that okay?
When parenting a child with a disability many people offer advice or opinions from their perspective of what would be best for a family like ours. People are not shy to give voice to the potential problems which they believe we face. Specifically, people assume that when non disabled siblings are raised with a sibling with a disability, it will cause some level of hardship in some way to the non disabled sibling. The idea that non disabled siblings will be responsible for their disabled sibling, is frowned upon. This blog ...
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My Greatest Gift This Year: Journey To You (Part Two)
Today's post is about a new idea I used to develop a positive mindset for Talisa and Eli as they began the new school year. It seems that my participation in Journey To You is a gift that keeps on giving as the idea was one which I learned at the course. I posted part one of this journey a few weeks ago: "My Greatest Gift This Year: Journey To You". When I participated in the life coaching course Journey To You, we learnt a valuable exercise about self-awareness and self-love ...
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Back-To-School: How You Start Is How You Finish
I have not written a blog for two weeks. And now here I am. I feel rather delighted with the quiet time I had and with all that I have achieved in these two weeks. One aspect that took up most of my time was my investment in my children's back-to-school preparations. That required focused time and attention from me. It is such an important part of my year that even my Christmas preparations can't compare. Why? Well, because I am a big believer in "how you start is how ...
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What You Do Not See In Our Photo Taken On New Years Eve
I share this post with the deepest love for my children, their friends with special needs and the siblings of people with special needs. It's not often I write about the challenges that we face as a family with a child with special needs. I prefer not to discuss this so publicly. I know that it is not easy for people living outside of this perspective to fully grasp the love and heartache that co-exists for families like mine. Yet today I will share this photograph of our fireplace and ...
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My Inspiration: There is ALWAYS Time to Dance
Now that I work from home, it is a mixed blessing. My children and my husband love having me around and I find we are using our time more productively. I wake up everyday excited to meet the day. I can't remember ever feeling like this in my whole life. For those families who have a child with a disability, you will know why this dynamic is precious. My daughter Savannah is witty and funny and kind and thoughtful. She is also different in her way of thinking and feeling ...
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Parenting: Being Courageous even in Uncertainty
This past weekend we attended our friends sons' birthday party where they had an amazing Wild Animals Educational show. My daughter, Savannah and the birthday boy, Kurt have been friends since they were little children. We have attended a few parties at his home and Maggie, Kurt's mum throws the best birthday parties for him. When I told Savannah that we would be attending the party, she immediately inquired if there would be animals. She remembered that Maggie usually has an animal show for Kurt's parties. This made Savannah a bit ...
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