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A Million Beautiful Pieces. Desirae Pillay

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A few days ago I posted a quote about parents empowering their children.

It’s a tricky business being a parent. The intense roller coaster of emotions that we experience while knowing we are fully responsible for another human is safely the hardest journey to be on. It is also definitely the deepest, most beautiful bond we can ever experience.

And this entanglement of emotions can sometimes cause parents to be down right “crazy”. We have to know how much responsibility to give our children and when they are ready for different levels of responsibility. We have to teach them to be strong, brave, independent and maintain their sense of curiosity, while we are supposed to also protect them. Once you become a parent, the whole independence thing just seems way too overrated. I mean, it’s completely plausible that a child can be dependent on their parents for a while? Maybe until they are twenty-five or maybe even thirty?

There I go doing the crazy parent ramble. The one that makes children want to panic.

But have no fear my friends. I’ve never been the parent who wants to hold my children to me forever. I’ve always maintained that I am raising them to leave because I know that they will be fully capable of eventually building their own lives. Michael and I are fully committed to our vision that our children will be their own heroes. Even for Savannah,who is likely to never leave home, there are still some areas of independence that Michael and I expect from her.

Therefore it was a great delight to me when my mother and Talisa showed me the video (link below) of the speech Deepika Padukone gave when she received the FilmFare award for Best Actress two years ago.

Deepika Padukone is the darling of the Bollywood Film industry and has the world at her fingertips. She read a letter that her father Prakash Padukone, a Badminton legend for India wrote to her sister and her. It’s a wonderful example of how to give our children wings while keeping their hearts humble.

Enjoy watching this touching video of a parent child bond that is filled with love, trust and faith. Then let me know in the comments what your best advice is to your young adult children.

https://youtu.be/TuZRUMpnTkA

To our daughter Savannah.

Today the world celebrates Autism Awareness Day.
We don’t need a day to celebrate you. As an autistic person you have taught us so much about Love and Respect.

You have challenged our way of thinking and being. You have taught us to let go of what is unnecessary in life and fight like crazy for what is worth living for. Family!

As the world celebrates Autism Awareness, we celebrate our journey with you. We are bound to each others fate in a way only few other parents in this world are bound to their children. Sometimes that’s hard for me, and I know it is hard for you too.

We’ve come so far though, and we’ve survived being judged, lonely, sad, other people’s ignorance and so many of life’s set backs.

We are braver than we knew we could be. We are more resilient. Mostly we are kinder, more gentle and much more appreciative of life because of the journey that you are on.

I hope we make you proud because you make us proud to be your family everyday. Your dad and I love you more than all the sand in the ocean and all the stars in the sky. It hurts when we find that sometimes it is not enough to protect you and ourselves from the harshness of the world we live in.

So let us hope as the World turns its attention to Autism, they will make real changes that truly impact your life in a way that is meaningful to you.

Wherever we go to from here, please remember this:

I Do Not Cry For Who You Are

by (author unknown)

Tears have stopped falling
On the fragments of my dreams,
I no longer mourn illusions
Of yesterday’s reality.

Tears that fell so often,
Almost every day,
But that was when the rain poured down,
And the sky was always gray.

Now I feel the sunshine,
And the sky is blue again,
I’m living on a rainbow,
but I still cry now and then.

I do not cry for who you are
Nor what will never be
My pain’s in the confusion
And the vulnerability

My frustration’s with a society,
That cannot see you’re mine,
My anger’s to the ignorance,
That will never try.

My fear is from uncertainty
That increases over time.
My guilt is deep inside my soul,
Each time they make me cry.

I do not cry for who you are
Nor what can never be
I cry because they look at you
But never really see

They don’t see how the differences,
Could make the world complete,
They can’t all live on rainbows,
It’s just not meant to be.

You are not responsible,
For all that we’ve been through,
I would not change you for the world,
I would change the world for you.

All our love

Mum and dad x

By Desirae and Michael Pillay (non autistic parents to Savannah Pillay, an autistic young adult)

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